Practicing "Patience"

Apparently, Patience is a Virtue. "Patience" simply being the ability to wait without complaint. It seems to me that "Patience" is a lot like "Wisdom" -- it is something gained over time; through experience; with understanding.

I have come to understand just how much is truly out of our control. A person can plan and prepare and take action, but what do they really have control over? Themselves? Arguably not even that in its entirety. I think Patience and Wisdom come with letting go of the control, or perhaps the perception of control. Just being in a state of flow -- enjoying the moment, the day, the swift passage of time.

So the real question is: "Are you good at waiting?" And the real answer is: "Embrace it; you have no choice."

Our inept ability to control more than our next footfall has led us into a state of limbo. Earlier this week we prepared our family, our jobs, our household, and ourselves for Willa's halo surgery. That girl is a trooper -- getting up before pre-dawn to wash again with the antibacterial soap, accepting the answer "no" to food or drink, and heading anxiously to the unknown of the surgical floor at Shriners. But that cough, that lingering cough that comes every Halloween and sticks around until Time springs forward once more, that cough that caused her lungs to sound "too creaky" for the anesthesiologist to approve sedation for surgery.

"Is there ever a period of 2-3 weeks when she doesn't cough in the winter?" asks Dr. Josie (the anesthesiologist). Umm... no. D'Amato was there and pushed back a little on the definitive veto, but in the end he reminded us that we're not following a strict timeline (well he might not be). So home we go, by way of breakfast at Fat City and spoiling the Brave One with hot cocoa and chocolate chip pancakes (both with whip, of course).

The new plan is for Matt to stay home with the girls on lockdown. No one in, no one out (except me -- unfortunately also most likely the transporter of germs from all my lovely hugging students). Halo surgery is rescheduled for January 16th, next Thursday. In the meantime, the girls get some special time together and with their amazing dad. I cringe now, more than ever, every time I hear her cough and tell her "it's ok, it's ok." Because it is. Ok.